Dear Manners Mom:

My daughter recently went to a birthday party that included a thank-you note in the goodie bag. I thought you were supposed to send thank-you notes a few days after the party, not as part of the goodie bag. Isn't this a bit tacky?

- Oh, Goodie

Dear Oh, Goodie:

Excellent question, as I've been on the receiving end of these automatic thank yous. And I do believe that they are tacky, because how can you possible be thanking someone for their gift, if you're giving them a thank you before you've even opened the present - or if you opened the presents at the party, before you've had time to process what your child received? If anything, you could put a thank you in the goodie bag to thank them for coming TO THE PARTY, but then you aren't off the hook for thanking them for the GIFT. That should be sent separately.

Also, what kind of message are you sending to your kids - that you take the easy way out, even with thank you notes? I don't think so. Writing thank you notes isn't just about thanking the person for the gift but also about teaching your child HOW to write a note and how to be thankful overall. It's an important lesson that every child needs to learn and a lesson that doesn't warrant taking the easy way out.

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Dear Manners Mom:

Have you ever heard of this happening? You arrange for a playdate for your child, and when the mom shows up to drop off her daughter for a playdate, she drops off her son, too? This just happened to me, and I was too stunned to give her a piece of my mind. I ended up having to entertain all these kids when I thought I might have some peace and quiet. How should I have handled things?

- Too Stunned To Speak

Dear Stunned:

It was extremely rude and quite presumptuous of that mom to expect that a playdate for her daughter included a playdate for her son. Had this happened to me, I might have said, "I'm sorry [friend's name] but I really can't welcome your son over to play today. Everything I'd planned is geared towards the older kids and we simply don't have a boy-friendly house right now. Next time, if you give me some notice, I can have other things planned."

I know that's a lot to come up with on the spot but that probably would have been the best way to handle things.

People's worst behavior and bad manners never cease to amaze me.